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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Sardars & Maths

Group of 7 Sardars plan to meet their old friend the President Dr.. Zail Singh. The Sardars decide to take a taxi. The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan.

The meter shows Rs. 28/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs. 28/-."

Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e. 7.


This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:
____
7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ).
7
--
21
21
--
0
--

The driver is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of the Sardars.. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of happiness is writtern on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way.

Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake.

They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the President of the nation!

They ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare..

Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi driver and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very often. The process is slow but is sure."

The other sardars nod their heads (?) in appreciation.

The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:
13
13
13
13
13
13
13
--
28
--

i.e.. 3+3+3+3+3+3+3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=28 so this checks out.

He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend and Finance minister Banta Singh.

Banta Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that he doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify it via mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication. That is
the best technique for this, you see!"

While others watch in admiration, Banta Singh goes on to write as shown:

13
x7
--- (7*3=21 ,7*1=7 so 21+7=28)
21
+ 7
--
28 This checks out as well.
--


Then he says, This is really fine. There should be no problem, President Sahab. Can u think how it works with subtraction here it goes

28
-1
---
27
-2
---
25
-3
---
22
-4
---
18
-5
---
13
-6
---
7
-7
---
0


After all, it is correct in all the methods.

SARDARJI in Crorepathi Contet

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win Rs. 1 crore....in Crorepathi Prgrame. The proceding is like below..

The questions are as follows:

1) How long was the 100 yr war?

A. 116
B. 99
C. 100
D. 150

Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?

A. BRASIL
B. CHILE
C. PANAMA
D. EQUADOR

Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

A. JANUARY
B. SEPTEMBER
C. OCTOBER
D. NOVEMBER

Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?

A. EDER
B. ALBERT
C. GEORGE
D. MANOEL

Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:

A. CANARYBIRD
B. KANGAROO
C. PUPPY
D. RAT

Sardar gives up.

If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardarji's replies, Then please check the answers below:

....

....

....

....

----

----

----

----

----

----

----


1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

Now tell me who's the dumb one....Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again.. :sorry:

NOTE: for the public welfare of sardarjis ... :bleh:

Kidnapping by a sardar...

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs. 2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying: "How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

father of four

Santa Singh had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, 'Mother of Six,' in spite of her objections.

One night they went to a party. Santa decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home, Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, 'Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!' :icon_arrow: :heat:

crowd of sardars

One day two sardars met and started chatting. The main topic of the conversation was about how others view sardars. They felt that sardars are being ridiculed too much by others.

They wanted to teach others a good lesson. Soon they had a plan for that. Said one Sardar to the other, "We two will go to beach tomorrow morning. We should keep on staring at the sea. People in anxiety will crowd behind us but we should not turn to see them. Finally in the night or so we will turn and say "Hey Fools! What you think of sardars?". That will be a good lesson. What do you feel?".

The other one was simply overwhelmed. He said "that's really great!" and hugged him.

Next day the two sardars went to the beach and did according to the plan. Soon they heard murmuring behind them and were happy. Time passed by and the noise from behind was increasing more. The two smiled at each other but didn't turn. It became late night and the sardars decided to turn to see the crowd. The sardars were shocked not because the crowd was more than expected BUT ALL IN THE CROWD WERE SARDARS!!! :lol2: :lol: :icon_arrow:

sardar at atm

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sardar's pets

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sandar in a library

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sardar the cheff

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sardar in an interview

A Sardar went for a job interview for the post of a Personal Assistant...When the Manager saw the Sardar with fully coloured clothes which were looking very odd...

His mind was screaming "NOT THIS MAN." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Sardar. So he told him "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance. The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK"

The Sardarji thought for a while and said : "I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ...........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok?

Thankyou."

The Manager fainted.......

:lol: :D

The Race

Once, a Tamil, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes.

First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down.

Then the Tamil removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently.

Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out. Unfortunately,they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Tamil who said - " May that ganapathi help you".

Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban .

:rolleyes:

sardar the smuggler

Sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'

'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.' Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the Sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the Sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the Sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'

'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Posted Image

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardarji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardarji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes.'

:rolleyes:

hunter sardar

Sardar Dhakaal Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.

Zoo people requested sardar to be inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.

While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly Dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.

After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.

After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road.Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.

Now tell us "What's the moral of the story?" :wub:

Answer is hidden in the next line, select the below line between the two red " " buttons.

Moral : "There are Sardar communities in tigers too"

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

SANTA IN TAMILNADU EXPRESS

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child." :D

SANTA IN TAMILNADU EXPRESS

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.

Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child." :D

'b' silent

Our Sardarji got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Sardarji had never flied before and hence was quite excited although tense.

Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707 Sardaji started jumping in excitement,jumping from seat to seat and shouting ' BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.

He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the cock-pit.

Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '.

There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was looking at the Sardarji and the angry Pilot.

Sardarji stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment was shouting,

'OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'..! :D :P :lol:

curtains for windows

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sardar proposing a girl

Sardar proposed a girl......
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u.......
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I'll marry u next year.

expired driving license

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sardar's car


sardar toon 1

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sardar story 3

A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients viz. religion, sex, suspense and mystery.

Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read : "Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child".

Amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !!

Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:

Oh God : religion

my wife: sex

going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy)

"Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers.

The sardar replied : who is the father ??

Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story! :blink: :D

sardar with his pregnant wife

A sardarji took his pregnant wife to pizza hut.The wife asked why? He answered that, they advertised free delivery

sardar story 2

Sardar Santa went into a restaurant and ordered his meal. When the waitress came out with his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb stuck into the soup. This upset him, but he was a gentleman and let it go. She then brought out his chili, and again her thumb was in the food. He let it go again. When she brought out his hot dessert, her thumb was in the food and this was too much for him.

Santa said, "Goddammit, woman, get your damn thumb out of my food!"

She replied,"Well, I injured it a while ago and the Doctor said I should keep it warm."

Santa said angrily,"Why don't you just shove it up your ass!"

She said, "That's what I do when I'm in the kitchen." :lol:

sardar story 1

Sardar Santa was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidentally, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus.

Politely, he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him, "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph!"

The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. :oops: :oops:

He was surprised to see his friend Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition. Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel.

So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he could stay there for the night.

The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied," I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He went towards the next house and without taking any risks, asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?".

The Owner asked," WHY?"

Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night..... "

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Kandathum Kettathum

I am starting a new topic here.

In our day to day life we come across many hilarious real-life situations. It can be a funny sign-board, funny mistake in a news paper or a shop sign board or an overheard conversation or any such thing we encounter in our daily life.

If we are keen observers we can spot many such funny things around us(Some examples are given below):-

A traffic sign board on the East Coast Road from Pondichery to Chennai:
"HEAVEN CAN WAIT. DRIVE SLOWLY'.

Another Traffic Sign Board seen at Chembur in Mumbai
"HOSPITAL CEILINGS ARE BORING TO LOOK AT. DRIVE CAREFULLY'


So.....citizens of Ananthapuri are requested to start posting their funny finds. Only condition is that the matter posted should be real and it would be nice if you can add details such as the name of the place etc...........

SATYAM NURSERY RHYME....

Raju Raju sat on the wall
Raju Raju had a great fall
Balance sheet died
Shareholders cried
Raju Raju made a fraud



Raju Raju
Yes baba
Cheating us
No baba
Telling Lies
No baba
Open the balance sheet
HA HA HA

barbar balan

Vythyasthanamoru Barbaram Balane 'SATHYA'thilarum Thiricharinjilla...

Thiricharinjirunnenkil ingane sambhavikkillayirunnu...

Barbar aarennum ippol manasilayille...


ella investors-neyum 'shave' cheythedutha sakshal 'Ramalinga Raju'....


CONCLUSION :Nobody could recognize him even after a clue was given through this song...

sardar chayakkadayil

sardar chayakkadayil

sardar :Ee flaskil ethra glass chaya kollum ?

Waiter :5 glass kollum

Sardar : Ennal 2 kattan, 1 without, 2 with suger vegam venam.......!

You know you are a Malayalee when ?????????

You know you are a Malayalee when

  • You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine or in your dinner.

  • You don't cook rice in a rice cooker. You do it the old-fashioned way : water, a big pot, and fire.

  • You buy corn oil by the gallon.

  • Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

  • Uncle Ben's takes over the household.

  • Lipton Tea is bought by the bulk (especially when there is a sale for it.)

  • You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.

  • The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.

  • Your brothers and sisters names rhymes or have the some letter to start with as yours.

  • MacDonald's is prounounced MAC-DOUGH-NALLS.

  • Your father and mother endlessly tell you stories of how when they first came into this country, they had to eat the cheapest parts of the chicken (eg. the back, necks, etc.)

  • During evening prayer, your Grandmother let's out a wailing belch. (If you could hear it, you know what I am talking about.)

  • You go to FOKANA / youth / spiritual conferences to pick-up chicks / dudes.

  • You have to explain to everyone, "That funny name is my father's house name."

  • Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.

  • Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."

  • You are teased about having two first names or else that your first name should be your last and vice versa.

  • Your mom is a nurse or she works somewhere in a hospital.

  • Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from India with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.

  • You either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it.

  • "You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"

  • You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."

  • You have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side.

  • At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.

  • Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."

  • You will most likely be taller than your parents.

  • Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.

  • Your mother constantly professes, "I am not gossiping on the phone. It is important conversation..."

  • Your American friends names suddenly turn into Malayalam names. (eg. Manay, Dhaveed (David) is on the phone for you.)

  • When your friends find out about the name your parents call you at home, you never hear the end of it from them.

  • On long road trips, Mohamad Rafi or devotional songs make the time fly by.

  • Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.

  • You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.

  • Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.

  • You've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.

  • You have to hide the fact that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

  • Everybody assumes you are Hindu or Muslim, because you are Indian but you stand up strong and say, "I am Christian."

  • Everybody assumes you are Christian, because you are Malayalee, but you stand up strong and say, "I am Hindu" or "I am Muslim".

  • You page yourself before you go out, so you look important.

  • At all the Indian parties, you and the Punjabis are the life of it..

  • You have heard of Malayalee Hit Squad, and you pretend you know someone in it everytime someone mentions it.

  • You say that you are in Malayalee Hit Squad to impress girls.

  • You act like you can dance Bhanghra styles.

  • Your North Indian friends mention a Hindi movie, you say that the Tamil or Malayalam version was the original one and that it was better.

  • Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.

  • Your father and grandfathers have hair on their ears.

  • Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages.

  • Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.

  • You are in an Engineering/Computer Science/Pre-Med/Med/Law program at your respective college.

  • If somebody asks you if you know a Malayalee person, your parents say, "His/Her father/mother was in my college." or else "Yes, We are from the same village."

  • You leave for college hating sambar, chicken curry, morra, and chor, but you come back home yearning for it.

  • You get angry about being compared to your other Mallu friends.

  • "Patti", "Thendi" and "Potten" are commonly used expressions of insult.

  • You create a name for IRC or AOL chat rooms it's always some name like "Thenga", "Pichati", "Ethikya" or things to that degree.

  • You leave it to your parents to find your spouse.

  • You pretend that you are not a Mallu at all.

  • Your Dad teaches you all the bad words in Malayalam, and your mom gets mad at him for that.

  • People ask you why your dad wears only a towel to pick up the newspaper or the mail.

  • You have a jungle growing in the backyard every summer, with pavikya, padavalingya, etc. growing and all your friends ask you why it stinks in the back yard.

  • (For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable.

  • (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm.

  • You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

  • Tongue scrapers are not a new fad to you.

  • To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.

  • When your American friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.

  • Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we studied even more."

  • Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street unless they're close by.

  • Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"

  • You like $1.75 movies.

  • You like $1.50 movies even more.

  • Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.

  • People you call "uncle" always smell up the bathroom at parties.

  • If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late.

  • You have never met half of your extended family.

  • Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.

  • A horoscope must decide your wedding date.

  • Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.

  • Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son.

  • You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot."

  • Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried.

  • You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.

  • You sound like "Apu" on the Simpsons.

  • You own a 7/11 or a motel with a name like "Roadside Inn."

  • One or both of your parents skipped at least one year of elementary school.

  • In the smallest of subcompact cars, you still can't see over the wheel without a phone book. WITH the phone book, you can't reach the pedals.

  • You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to anyone YOU know.

  • Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.

  • You have trouble paying attention to "minor" items like your kids' social lives, but you know the exact number of the check that you're on in your checkbook.

Sundhariyaya Oru Teacher

Oru Gramathil Sundhariyaya Oru Teacher Undayirunnu,

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Ippo Retired aayi...


love joke

onnu chirichu
pinne Rose poove koduthu
I love you ennu paranju
avasanam avalodoru umma chodichu !

umma mathramalla avalude uppayum thannu...!!

kulathile Board

Kulathinu Nadiviloru Board....
Ethra nokkiyittum Vayikkan pattunnilla, Avasanam Neenthi poyi Nokkiyappokandu....
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"IVIDE MUTHALA UND KULATHIL IRANGARUTH"


*** Vakyathil Prayogikkuka ***

POTTICHIRI
Adukkalayil undayirunna biscuit packet aaro pottichirikkunnu

VIMMISHTAM
Idhu vare EXO dishwash bar upyogitchu madutha ammayikku ippol
Vimmishtamaayi

SADAACHAARAM
Jolikkaari aduppilninnum sadaa chaaram vaarum.

UTHARAM MUTTI
Innale thattinpurathu kayariyappol, ente thalayil uththaram mutti.

PIDIKITTUKA
Kuda nashttappettengilum athinte pidikitti

ADICHELPPIKKUKA
Ravile ezhunelkkathirunna ramuvine achan adichelppichu

JEEVIKKUKA
G vikkuka budhimuttanekil ini kurachu naal H vikkan sramikkam..

ETTUM POTTUM
8 muttakal tharayil ittappol manasilaaayi, ettum pottum!

MUDANTHAN NYAAYAM
Innale kavalayil oru mudanthan nyaayam prayunnathu kettu.

AZHIMATHI
Veedu panithappol sit outtil jannal mathiyennnu achan paranjappo
tintumon paranju venda AZHI MATHI..

AAROPANAM
Innale bank locker kuthi-thurannu aaro panam moshtichu

Namboothiri in bus

Namboothiri got into a transport bus which was full packed with passengers and no seats were vacant.A kind gentleman offered his seat to namboothiri

gentleman:please take your seat sir.

namboothiri ;Oh no it is already late. I have no time to sit.

namboothiri jokes 2

namboothiri jokes

It was great to come upon the Namboothiri jokes. Quite impressed and much appreciate your effort to put this on the web

Thursday, November 19, 2009

sardar's song

Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger coming towards them.

To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down.

man sitting in a tree

Santa told Banta, ” Yaar just to pass Time Why don’t you sing some song”

Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs.

sardar fined

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.

The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.

Parking sign

“They should not put up such misleading notices,” said Banta Singh.

It said, “Fine For Parking Here.”

The Hindustan Times

A Sardar came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father’s death.

“The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm,” the clerk told him.

clerk

“Main toh lut jaoonga,” exclaimed the Sardar.

“My father was 182 cms tall.”

Sardar complained

Sardar complained to his friend about his wife.

Men talking

“My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years.” said Sardar.

Mrs Sardar intervened, “Not six we have been married for seven years!”

Sardar at the railway station

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

railway-track.gif

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks

what type of glasses

Santa Singh : ‘Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?’

Glass

Banta Singh : ‘Yes, that’s funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?

I am not your son.

‘Take me to the 10th floor,’ said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding.

When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, ‘The 10th floor, beta.’

lift.jpg

‘Why did you call me beta?’ demanded Banta Singh. ‘I am not your son.’

I called you beta because I brought you up,’ replied the liftman.

bus accident

One day a bus gets an accident which were filled up with some sardarjis.
Then one of the Saradarji starts to cry very loudly saying I have lost my hand, I have lost my hand…

bus-accident.jpgl

After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don’t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn’t utter even a single word, how silent he is…

Sardar went 2 hotel

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.

Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?

Waiter: Woh langra tha.

Sardar: Dil?

resturant.jpg

Waiter:
Dil murgi le gayee.

Sardar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga sardar tha…

How to decide???

Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing.
Says Banta, “How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?”

santa-and-banta.jpg

Santa Singh replies, “I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours.”

So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too.

And the next day Banta Singh is worried and says, “I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours.”

horse.jpg

The next night the kids cut the other horse’s ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc.

And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.

At last Banta says, “BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA”

A Sardar was drawing money from ATM

A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, Sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen your password.”

ATM machine

Its 4 asterisks (****).

The first Sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong, Its “1258

sardar's car

Preeto: There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.

Banta: Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.

clipboard01.jpg

Preeto: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.

Banta: You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?

sardar's weather forecast

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so.

one-glove.jpg

He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

santa-singh-planting-the-chicken

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

ck.jpg

A month later he was back at the same dealer for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died and then Santa realised “I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said Santa, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”

sardar at court

Judge: You are charged with throwing your mother-in-law out of your fourth-story window.

Banta: I did it without thinking, your Honor.

judge.jpg

Judge: Thats no excuse! Don’t you see how dangerous it might have been for anyone passing by at the time?

sardars chinese kid

Sardarji got the fourth child.
He fills data in the birth certificate.

“Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese.”

chinese-b0y.jpg

“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”

” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”

sardarji at egypt

Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.

20475884thm.jpg

Sardar1:
Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!

Sardar2:
Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC-1760!!

I was born in Punjab!

Boss: Where were you born ?

Sardarji:
Oye Punjab.

sardargif.jpg

Boss: Which part?

Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

sardar's suicidal attempt

Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.

“How did this happen?” the doctor asked.

“Well I was trying to commit suicide,” Banta replied.

20527635thm.jpg

The doctor asked, “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?”

“No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.